Being Single- Just Thinking Aloud Pt1

I'm starting to understand why I don't have a man. I'm 25 with a 4yr old son, and contrary to popular belief those are NOT the reasons I am single and keep running into the men I do. Having a conversation with ma sis @Pink_Choclat and reflecting on my past and very present present..lol.. its ME that keeps these circles of catostrophy afloat. No its not how I dress or carry myself.. b/c that to me is mythical.. its my mindset. You can be the life of the party or the teacher of a pre-k class... every woman has a "freak" in her or a wildside.. given the right mixes of alcohol ;o) Some women are confident enough to showcase their sexy figure and bright red hot lips in a night club and well others are not. That's isn't a judge of character to me. Just like men like to drive fast cars.. Maseratis and Porches.. doesn't mean because he drives those fast cars that he is unsafe or a "flight risk". So NO dress how U FEEL at that moment and act in a way no one can FEEL but you no matter where u are! Never be scared to be YOU! (Except at the White House O_o Lol) that should not stop you from gaining the RIGHT man or woman designed for you... those stereotypical sayings with the long skirts and turtle necks showin no skin but your face SLAY ME! A man will respect u if YOU respect yourself period. No matter how u "look" out... Now I'm not encouraging you to walk around naked! No no no! That's def not the case.. but I don't think a woman should lessen her natural sex appeal to gain a "good man". All men have potential to be a good man.. just takes a good woman.. All women have potential to be a good woman... just takes a good man... Well this is just my opinion.

Anywho back to the topic of discussion... being single lol. And why? I jus feel as if I don't believe in myself a lot when a ok or good man is standing right in front of me... psychologically I question me.. which makes me question him and all of the motives he has out for me that's not even there... from money to sex.. to being played.. lied too defeated morally... idk just everything my little insecure brain let's me think of... lol.. which scares him off inadvertently because my actions have now change.. along with my mindset. And who the hell wants to deal with that...??  Now I'm checking Twitter checking Facebook checking Tumblr checking blogspots tryna fig out WHAT'S WRONG with this man... or tryna fig out WHAT I'M UP AGAINST? And that's where the problem starts.. I'm already worrying about what's happened to "us" before anything has happened to us? Crazy right? But see.. I KNOW I'm a good person with a kind heart.. I can be an excellent woman to my man... I know I have all the proper credentials of keeping a home.. but why can't I make it that far? WORRIATION OF FAILURE! I shoot myself down before things even get off the ground. I reeaalllyyy have to work on that. A lot of women do. Pride held or not. We do. That's why there's so many happy "sidepieces" and miserables "mains".. those mains started worrying about the next bitch... and the next bitch has no cares or worries in the world except for YOUR man... something you USE to do...

Ima take a brain break.... Ill be back! Follow my blogspot tho! Love MoNa ;o)

Social Sites

Okkkk Sooo Im back on Twitter and Facebook.. Lol.. Had too... Promo use...Oh my YouTube is up and at it too... What was missed...? Man... Ima have to take a hot min out the day to fully update that... kinda busy right now... jus wanted to hop on here and spit something real quick... well Ill be back later... Xoxo...

I hate...

NQQAS!! Oh em gee... and I don't even wan a man.. I jus wan chill with "someone" but these nqqas are so ignorant... its hard to weed out the good and bad... u run into so many assholes that errybody an asshole ya kno? So shiid I jus be like fuck it.. ion trust anyone! Cuz its pointless to even sit back and act like shit gravy when really u wan jus scream cuz you prolly ran into ANOTHER LAME! By affiliation! Ugh! Maann I cud go on and on and on and ooonnn about the way I feel about black men... they are soo disrespectful to us...and treat US... like were nothin... it serioulsy worries me... idk what to think about ma love life anymore... I jus can't let anyone in... I jus don't trust em... its like two seconds off intuition and their actions I'm done.. I gotta stop attracting these kinds!! But hell at the end of the day it doesn't even matter.... u live and learn... can't stop now... gotta keep weeding I guess.. someone good will come along.. until then.. shiid fuck em all lol... peace #oneofthemdays...

Facebook..

Soo as of recent I've deleted my Facebook account... to much negative energy surrounding that site.. the spying the sneak dissing.. the jealousy... it was all taking a toll on me.. trying to please everyone... so I said... bye bye... and with that said... I just heard of some ridiculous drama as of lately and all I can do is smh... all I can say to her is I TOLD YOU SO!! Ha... crazy how the people you come into contact with can help change ur life.. She thought she was superior to him.. and she ended up being "jus another girl"... though she stayed constantly harrassing me... taunting me... calling and threating me... trying to make it known.. " I got ur man".. well Shuga jokes on u... cuz u ain't the only one who has him....!! ;o).. Though Ive moved on... I must admit.. it feels good knowing that I've "missed out" on NOTHING and have gained so much more peace and happiness since leaving... I'm #blessed... The rest of you blind mice..... #CarryOn... :o) I'm gona continue munching on this Red Lobster... Jus had to say something about that.... BBL.... Xoxo...

Waitresses

I can not stand when a waitress lies to me about the amount of a drink I ordered! Like wtf? Soooo I had a waitress last night charge me 15 dollars for a Tokyo Tea.. which I usually pay 9 for every time I order it.. well this time it was ordered "TOP SHELF"? So I gave ger 9 more dollars on top of the 9 I had already given her.. for a 9 dollar tip that she didn't deserve because I ended up walkin to the bar and she handed me the drink...? Smh... but if u need the money that bad u can have it... but all you had to do was ask...? Though you carrying around 2500 LV purses... but you "stealing from a colleague? WoW! Verry sad to me.. and its not about the money its about the principle... I HATE scammers.. reap wat you sow tho.. she'll get her stealing back.. ten fold.

Poor Choices

I'm so disappointed in the choices I've made in men over the past few years... its like all I pick and choose to deal with have all been clowns... I hate wasting ma time.. that's one of ma biggest issues within myself... I gotta stop doin that.. and on these losers... its like as the days go by.. and the past isn't as painful as yesterday.. I realize how better off I am without the ones I thought I loved... I think they were positioned and placed in ma life for a purpose.. and for that I'm appreciative.. of the knowledge I've gained from them all... I'm better prepared than I was before... not saying that I kno it all... jus saying I can be a lot better at making PRO choices instead of POOR CHOICES....

CURIOUS...

I wonder if he thinks about me as much as I think about him... Or is it just his sex that I'm really into that leaves me limb.... Or maybe its his smile.. his chocolate skin.. covered in art ad written words... funny there are no words that describe the way I feel... about him.. that is... Tho I don't know how I feel... usually when u feel the way I feel its love..? But I don't think I even know what love is.. Smh.. but there's no way.. I don't even know him.. I mean of course I do... but not like I want to... he doesn't know me either... not how I want him too... I wonder if the thought of us is as far fetched as I think it is... I don't know..Never know how fate works...We'll see... Be back later... <3